Becoming and Being, Existentialism in a Nutshell

What makes us good humans? What makes us become who we are? Why do we suffer? What is the meaning of our existence? Big questions. These are the questions tackled by existentialist counsellors and psychotherapists. If we look back to the great psychologists the fathers and mothers of these fields of study, they have all suffered in life. They haven't been perfectly put together human beings. Many have come from difficult backgrounds, have struggled in life and struggled in obtaining their academic achievements. Its totally arguable that we must struggle ourselves in order to really connect with those who are struggling. It's my belief that we are constantly learning, we are constantly struggling and with each hardship we overcome we learn a little more about the world around us and who we are within it every time we overcome a hardship or an obstacle. Today's blog is about existential counselling and what you might expect to find in the office of an existential counsellor.

My all time favourite existential humanistic counsellor is Dr Irvin Yalom. I like him because he isn't perfect and is proud to say so. I like him because he examines life and death on a very deep level. He is an atheist as I am. I admire the way in which existential counsellors perceive life and how they can help clients find meaning in their lives and in their deaths. The idea of being vulnerable as a counsellor and sharing the experience of counselling as an exploration shared equally between client and practitioner. The existential counsellor may encourage you to look forward rather than backward into your past however, they may explore elements of it as it pertains to your life's meaning and the direction you have taken so far. Your existential counsellor will be viewing each session as a growth experiment for both of you. Your existential counsellor will seek out methods that work the best for you as a team working toward the shared goal of your improved mental health and their improved counselling skills.

Dreams are important to existentialism you may be asked to keep a dream journal as the existential counsellor will be looking with you at these dreams and why they may occur. There might be a theme which can be unlocked and examined to find ways in which you can know yourself better. There won't be a set time limit in this type of therapy therefore, it doesn't fit in very well with the Medicare model of the mental health process. I have never been to an existential counsellor however, the lecturers I got the most value from as a student were existential counsellors.

When studying the different modalities Existential counselling seemed to ring true to me. I noticed that some of the time I do use existential tools when I'm counselling and only realise later that is what I have done. This usually comes to light when discussing cases with my supervisor after sessions. Your existential counsellor probably won't be aiming for you to be happy all the time, rather expecting your sad times to provide you with moments of reflection, accepting this times as part of the human experience. Existentialism is based from philosophical views on life therefore, creating meaning is of utmost importance, being a part of the social fabric is also important. Who you become as human being within this social fabric, what you leave behind and how you nurture not only your own growth also nurturing the growth of the community you live in.

 As last week's modality, Narrative Therapy, to hear the existential counsellor it's evident that this type of therapy is an Art form in many ways. Drawing out the client's strengths allaying fears and normalising their experiences. As you watch the above linked videos you can see that Yalom "is" an existentialist and lives his life in this way. I particularly like the fact that Yalom worked with patients for ten years who were dying of cancer. He wanted to immerse himself in what it means to be dying what can come from the experience of death which will enhance the experience of life.

I was recently speaking to someone who was experiencing fear perhaps even anxiety related to death. I described death as part of the experience of life, death after all is the destination to which we are all heading. Existentialism as in buddhism emphasis the journey.  As a support worker and nurse I have experienced many of my patients dying.  I feel the ripples of their life upon my own life, in this way their footprint is in my life and therefore in the lives of everyone that I know. If we live our lives with meaning and purpose we will leave a legacy. If we live our lives with the knowledge that it will end we may well live our life with more intentionality and direction. I know that being a part of the death experience of so many other people I am acutely aware that my time is limited. I try to enjoy the little things in life such as; being able to walk with ease, beautiful sunsets, the company of friends and family, sometimes I just like silence and peace other times I enjoy laughter and also tears. I enjoy doing things like painting and writing this blog. I enjoy the stories of my counselling clients just as I enjoyed the moments I shared with my clients when I worked as a nurse. These things for me are the fabric of life and create meaning for me. These things are what draw me to Existential counselling and the philosophy behind it.

If you are interested in finding out more about existential counselling you can click on the links below these will take you to sites where you can obtain training in existential counselling or find a counsellor who specialises in existential counselling. There are plenty of books written by Yalom the article here provides a more indepth look at existentialism and the philosophy behind it.


Brisbane Existential Counsellors

Center for Existential Training Australia

Existential Counselling Resources

References

Gerald, D., & Gerald, K. (2001). Basic Personal Counselling. Frenchs Forest NSW: Pearson Education Australia.

Psychotherapy, C. (Director). (2006). Video Interview, The Gift of Therapy; A conversation with Irvin Yalom M.D. [Motion Picture].

Yalom, I. (1980). Existential Psychotherapy. New York: Basic Books.

Yalom, I. (2010, June 10). Dr Yalom 1-3 Death & Existential Psychotherapy. Retrieved October 11, 2014, from youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-1dfH_kVZA